The Lake.....

I am beginning to love where we live. Today, my new friend Kendra and I went to the lake with another friend, Tracy, and of course all the kids. Tracy's in-laws own a condo in Incline Village with a private beach on lake Tahoe. So, with the kids in tow, Kendra and I made the 25 minute drive to Incline Village to visit the beach. It was an amazing day! Friends, fellowship, fun with the kids, a cool breeze, clear blue Tahoe water, 84 degrees and perfect sun. I got to finally wear my new bathing suit I got at the Patagonia outlet last year for 9.99 (so excited for that find!) and I was even more happy that it still fits considering I bought it without knowing a baby was coming (: Anna even had her new sunglasses for the trip. We tried them on this morning and she smiled away in them.....A beautiful day up here in Tahoe! Definately not missing the Chico heat right about now. It's amazing to just drive to the lake and be in one of the most beautiful places in the world. It made me feel like we were on vacation. I'll have to go to the lake more often. We do only live 13 miles from it!

Speaking of vacation, it's over for me. I start back to work Tuesday night for my first shift in the ICU at Saint Mary's. I'm excited but also nervous about going back. My biggest worry right now is when I will sleep, or if I will sleep. I'll do 2 nights a week and split them so it won't be as bad. We'll see. I continue to pray that this schedule works out and that God gives me the strength to not need much sleep. I tear up thinking I won't be home for Anna's 5 AM feeding ): I know she won't miss me too much and she does sleep the whole night, I just hate the idea that I'll be so far away from her and not here if she or Peter needs me. It's bittersweet for sure. I'm excited to go back, but dreading it at the same time. I pray the Lord changes my heart on this and gives me a lot more excitement about this new job than I have. I'll keep you all posted as to how this first week goes!

74 and Tears....

On the way to our "house" in Truckee (I refuse to call it home, Chico is home, Truckee is just where our house is) on highway 20, I woke up to the sound of my wonderful husband saying "shoot" and flashing blue and red lights. My first words, "Peter, (sigh), how fast were you going? in a half awake attempt. The answer, "Alli, I don't know, it's late." So, the officer came to my side, I sat up in my seat, and he didn't look happy. The dreaded question, "So, do you know how fast you were going?" Answer: "Not a clue officer." "74 he replied." My first thoughts, CRAP! This is a 55 and 74 in a 55 no good, especially with a baby in the back seat. So, WE royally got chewed out by the officer, one for going 74, two, he said it was my job to reach over and smack Peter for going that fast and that it's my responsibility as the passenger to do this, three, for "endangering a 10 week old baby." Oh brother! I replied that I was sorry and that I would had, had I the opportunity, but that I had just woken up to his flashing lights. Even better, he seemed to focus on me as if I was responsible for the driving. He asked if I worked for care flight because we have a care flight sticker in the back window of the subaru, ("Subi" we call it) from the previous owner who I worked with (he worked for care flight). His advice was not to remove it as it would "save me someday." I said no, but that I was a nurse in Reno. He preceded to lecture me about how I should know better for speeding and that there are bears, deer, and mountain lions and I of all people should know from working in the ER that accidents happen and the number one cause is speeding. I sheepishly said, "I know officer, and I'm sorry." Geez! I wasn't even driving! Good thing I was too tired to care at the time. So, in his custody was Peter's license, our registration and proof of insurance. Meanwhile, Anna woke up in the back seat and was not happy about the light situation. When the officer came back, he explained that when he "rips someone a new one," he doesn't ticket them and that since I'm a nurse, he'd let us go. Yay for nurses! He told "us" to slow down and to get the baby home safely. A huge sigh of relief from me and we were back on the road! I think Peter had it easy in this situation. Once again, I reminded him why I love being a nurse and why I've left the sticker on the window that he thinks is stupid. Thanks for the tip on the sticker Marcus! Then, we had a short discussion of remembering that racing is for the track, not subaru outbacks on ANY road.......Peter was less than amused and just smiled proudly of his love for racing.......

So, home safe, late, but safe. Sleep was less than stellar. I woke groggy this morning, fed Anna, packed her bags and had everything ready for our friend that was going to watch her today because it was my first day back to work. So, I get in the car, feeling proud I'm even a little early and I get to her house. Knock, no answer. Doorbell, no answer. CRAP! No Tahoe in the driveway. SHOOT! She wasn't there! Completely flaked on me! My next thoughts, what am I going to do as I hold back the tears? I called Peter to take her back to him as this was my only option. I can't call in to work on my first day! On my way, I saw our Pastor's car in the driveway at our church. Being our babysitter and friend is his daughter-in-law, I figured I could ask what the deal was. He didn't have a clue but offered up his lovely wife for her babysitting services. At this time, I was in tears, fighting them but I just couldn't. He gave me a huge hug and gently said, "follow me." Off to his house we went, I collected myself and successfully dropped Anna off. Once I was on the freeway, I lost it. I was in tears, crying. Not only did all my plans fall apart, I was in a panic of "what would I do" and I had to leave Anna all day for the first time! Needless to say, it's been a hard day emotionally. I'm tired, I'm not wanting to return to work, Anna is still so needy. To top it off, it's a new job, new hospital, new people and it's like starting from square one. Sigh ):

So, a nap for me at the moment is what I would love to accomplish as Anna is now down for a nap and the house is quiet.....

My Little Love

I just love this picture! I can't help but smile when I see that little smirk.

A Proud Moment......

I am going to sleep tonight feeling pretty proud of myself. These long nights of sleep training has finally paid off and tonight was the first evidence of it! I nursed Anna, laid her down at 9:00 PM, groggy but still awake as they recommend, in her crib, on her back (which she has refused to sleep on since she was born) and she made two really cute coos and she was out! I watched Grey's Anatomy in perfect peace, took an amazing, long, hot shower and did one last tip toe in to make sure she was still breathing since she hadn't made a peep. Peter was left speechless on the couch reading his book in a moment of AWE and shear pride!

After all the advice (which really has just left me discouraged and overwhelmed), all the "you shoulds" and "try this" from EVERYONE who felt they needed to chime in, the choices I have made for Anna and what I have found works for her and what I am comfortable with as her momma is beginning to come to fruition. I think the turning point was staying calm about the whole bedtime routine myself combined with a whole lot of prayer! Jesus can teach us anything right? I realized last week that I am a big girl myself, that I sleep through the night and that I sleep in my own bed and have for a very long time now. Remembering this calmed me down and made me realize that Anna would also in due time. In her own time and whenever she chose to would be ok with me because I trusted it would happen someday when she was ready. I must say it's a proud moment and a little self esteem booster. I sleep tonight feeling like I'm finally doing something right. I've finally taught my baby the gift of a quality night of sleep.....YAY!